is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
