Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
