So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
