he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
