so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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