I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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