I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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