Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
