is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
