Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
