No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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