whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
