I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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