Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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