Cold hands, warm shart.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
