ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
