Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
