I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
