are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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