Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
