sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
