Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
