so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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