i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
