Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
