I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize