Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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