Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
