your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
