We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
