i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I look better un-naked...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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