Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
only if we run a train.
done.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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