I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
