i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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