Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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