i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
