Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
