i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
