Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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