I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
