Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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