Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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