It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
