Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
