I think my vagina is haunted
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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