I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
