didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
