He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
