Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
