U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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