It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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