Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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