I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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